I’m really glad you stopped by this part because you can really help your kids with the message in Baboo
Says, which is simply how to live a happier and more productive life.
It’s Obvious that our culture had become obsessed with teaching children how to be successful in corporate
America. Kids are exposed to so much information in school now with the advent of the computer and the
information age. Of course education is important, and striving for higher goals is not in of its self a bad thing.
But a life of excelling in education and spelling bees does not assure a productive and happy child. Being
successful in life can only be accomplished by a person who knows how to think, how to place value on self,
on responsibility and never placing the outcome of the rat-race before the journey of the race. Remember
this; there is a still place inside each of us where our spirit, our true spirit lies. It lies there just behind all the
noise and drama of our modern society. This part of who we are must be nourished and healthy for anything
else in our lives to have value. I want you to understand that this hidden part of your child, is far more
important than a grade on a math test, or what society says they should be doing. Spending time with your
child, not preaching to them, but simply listening and bonding is the easiest way to begin to help them nurture
this most important piece of who they are. When this part is of them is emotionally healthy, the rest of their
lives will be too.
Most parents focus simply on the "outside" of their children's choices which is truly not very healthy. Look at
what we believe success is through these eyes; Research has shown that most people who win the lottery will
eventually wind up in worse shape than they were before they won. This is simply because no amount of
money will change the way a person thinks or his priorities. No amount of money will heal the inner spirit.
Then of course we have powerful and “successful” CEO’s who become power hungry and obsessed with
money and public standing who wind up destroying a company along with the investors life savings.
These things can happen when a person is not raised with the fundamental building blocks that create a
happy and well balanced person. Sure, they may have learned all the academic information they needed, but
they were never taught how to place value on the most important part of being alive.
Living in America, the most rewarding country of all, Teens are still neglected from learning these principles.
They go to school, some go to church, they watch extreme adult programming on TV and also they watch
their parents and others reactions to life situations. These observations they make are in deed setting an
example to them of how they too are supposed to react to a whole array of experiences. They never
understand cognitive selection. Through all of this, still they do not get direct understanding of how powerful
their mind and thoughts are. They learn reactions from others in a robotic habitual way, rather than making
their decisions based on their own inner spirit. Unfortunately the whole of society is teaching our children
destructive examples, as every observation is indeed setting an example. A parents ammunition against this
process is in helping your child develop a strong and balanced relationship to their own inner spirit.
Kids and Parents these days really have their hands full more so than ever. Its no longer possible to
shield a kid from the negatives of the world. If a kid is simply shielded form these things, the day will come
when they become exposed to them on their own. But the outer world does not have to by your child's
teacher. Your child has an inner sense of right and wrong. Every child as an extremely powerful mind that if
used properly will bring them a life full of happiness despite the actions of the world around them. The key to
a child's happiness is that relationship to their inner spirit and a parents example helps guide them to this
practice.
Even the best parents however may not have a priority to teach kids these principles simply because they
were not raised with them their selves; even as they may have a loving and supportive home which is very
important, they may not be teaching their kids how to react out of choice rather than habitual reactions.
Just as an example, perhaps a kid notices how a parent opens a bill then becomes upset that the bill has
been raised. The parent may go on a mini tyrant about how they are getting ripped off, how can they afford it
etc. Well kids learn everything from example. Usually a kid will emulate that of the same sex parent. Therefore
a kid learns through repetition how to react to that situation. This is of course an obvious condition, since
most kids will eventually take on the same political side of the parents, the same religion, etc. Kids learn by
the parents example. The parent is in fact just continuing that example set by their own parent years and
years ago.
So, what is wrong with a person becoming irate when they open yet another higher bill? Well that is a very
interesting question and a very important one as well. Surly we can all justify that this situation should justify a
pouting reaction. After all something beyond my control happened to me, taking something I value away from
me. This makes me angry and when I get angry everyone will know about it! Now I feel helpless for I have no
control, so I will get angry and try to scare the hell out of this bill! Subconsciously I remember my parents
doing this and that’s how I’m supposed to react.
And of course this reaction is not just limited to opening the monthly bills, but I also use this when I’m issued
extra work at my company. And you better believe I’m going to get pissed when I get pulled over for going 85
miles and hour on my way to work! If I’m having a particularly challenging week, I may find myself in bad
attitude for most of the day. Now I’ve developed a certain look in my eyes, and if I cut my eyes to you with this
certain death stare, you have better have only good news for me. ha ha.
Well part of being an adult is that we do not let our selves become angry because we simply did not get our
way. After all, we tell our kids this all the time. Its just implied that they do what we say, not what we do!
Unfortunately we never got direct instructions on how to actually live this way ourselves. Let me just address
the serious negatives to this situation starting from the end state. I have become shielded in a mood of
discomfort. I dwell on each situation that is causing me distress. In fact, I go through them all one by one and
as if that wasn’t fun enough, I do it again. Maybe if I think about this long enough I will find some loop hold that
will set me free from this hideous cycle of self condemnation.
Living in this bubble of self inflicted discomfort, now I’m oblivious to other things in my life. I haven’t even
noticed that my son cleaned up his room. I haven’t noticed that the roses in the back yard have begun
blooming. My mood is tense, my heart rate is high. My awareness is now limited to only the negatives I’m
dwelling on. People can easily sense that I’m in no mood for conversation and my sense of humor is fast
asleep on me now. After numerous cycles or repeating the same thoughts through my head, now I’m creating
a whole new cycle of interesting thoughts. I’m thinking about my retirement now and I wonder if I will have
enough to retire with. Then I think, “holy cow, who’s worried about retirement when I have kids who need to go
to college”. Then a stray thought pops into my head, “I wonder if my boss will consider me for a promotion this
year? I doubt it, with my luck I’ll probably get fired”.
If find yourself acting in this way, then of course you are setting this example to your child. You are suffering
yourself from a lack of connecting to your own inner spirit, a neglect that leaves you feeling vulnerable to life's
forces. Your parents didn't know about this, so they couldn't pass this most powerful information along to you.
Well, neither did their parents. What a mess.
Its just simply a universal law that “like attracts like”. This principle is not limited to only physical matter, but is
also quite valid with a persons own thoughts and experiences. In the example above we have all taken a turn
on that ride. You don’t need to be a philosopher, a priest or a rocket scientist to see how this principle works.
Taking this a step farther we all know someone who is the doom and gloom type of person, and this person
will truly have what seems to be one unlucky experience after another. And my personal favorite (not really) is
the complainer. This person never ever has anything go right for them; for them life is one long day of one
disaster after another. And if you will notice, a few minutes with this person will become infectious. You will
suddenly find your own self participating in this disrespect for life trying to top his next complaint with your
own. After you manage to pull yourself away from this spiritual vampire, you will find yourself feeling drained,
and certainly not happy.
So why do we choose to jump into this bubble of discomfort? It can be such a habitual reaction that we may
find ourselves in it before we knew what hit us. It was certainly not something that was forced on us. We
voluntarily jumped into it with a sense of familiarity that almost felt like home. It happened so quickly that we
didn’t even notice it was actually a choice that we made.
At any moment we find ourselves in, in-life, there are an infinite number of things we can think about.
Certainly there is a world full of negative things all over the planet that we can choose to think about if we
decide too. On the other hand, at any one moment there is a whole world of positive things that exist in that
moment that we can think about. Why is that statement so important?
Simply because that is all you have. What you think about is responsible for your experience of each moment
and for your whole life experience; your relationships, your memories, your contemplation of the future, all of
this is done inside your own head and heart. The KEY is of course CHOICE! In a sense, just for arguments
sake, nothing exists outside of a person. Sure our eyes and ears say something is over there. But our
experience of that is always and forever, inside us.
This becomes important for you to understand because you have to teach your kids that no experience on
the “outside” of them can cause them any harm unless they choose for it to do so. Naturally I’m not speaking
of physical dangers, but experiences.
Suppose your Teen starts a new school, in a new state. His first day maybe he finds out that the other kids
don’t dress like he does. Maybe they don’t even talk about the same things as he is used too. Your kid fits in
fine where he comes from, but is clearly an outsider at this new school. Some of the older kids tease him, he
doesn’t feel like he can make friends with these strange kids. Naturally he does what all kids do and becomes
upset and he jumps into his bubble of discomfort.
Looking at the big picture how is it possible that this situation causes him harm or discomfort? This situation is
completely on the outside of him. In a sense its not much different than watching a new TV show. He is
experiencing something new as an observer. His attention is focused on what his new surroundings are, the
new people, the new conversations, and even the teasing. Unfortunately he doesn’t yet understand that
outward experiences have no power to change his mood UNLESS he allows it to do so. Once again in that
moment the world is full of experience, and memories. There are great ones, and negative ones. The ones
that a person gets in tune with are the ones that they CHOOSE!
Don’t you think that our kids need to know that they are not victims to whatever crosses their minds? That
they are not victims to things they observe. The most powerful magic that they possess is the ability control
what and how they think! What they choose to think about is what they choose to feel. A person should go
through life feeling GOOD! A kid should be well informed and taught how to use the most powerful computer
on earth, their brains! Once again, I’m not talking about algebra or compound sentences, I’m talking about
the foundation of the mind.
In the earlier example of opening the bill, a parent who going to set an example of power and confidence may
do something like this.
Open the bill, look at it, and set it down. And that’s about it!
That’s because in his mind, he knows that sacrificing even a minute on being upset and angry is just
ridiculous. In the big picture he knows that the whole world is set up on a system of giving and receiving
energy. The symbol for this is of course money. He understands that the electricity is something that he
wants, something that he needs, and something that really if he had too, would pay twice as much for it as he
does. He knows the electric company has a lot of employees and a lot of expenses themselves. When he
makes his payment, he is contributing to the whole community for a service that he requests to have. More
than that, a 2 percent increase is basically nothing in the big picture of life.
More than that, the Parent keeps the positive attitude that he or she CHOSE to expereince. No outward force
of discomfort invaded the mind and emotions. They will not sacrifice one moment of what was wanted for the
chance to pitch a temper tantrum. This Parent sees things in the big picture choosing to see the best in
people and circumstances, understands that the quality of this journey through life has nothing to so with
opening envelopes or checks for that matter. It is simply, a state of mind. If you would like some more help
directly with connecting to your own inner spirit so you can set a better example for your child, please feel
free to visit my other site the meaning of life.
There is a magical aspect to this that actually goes much farther than just avoiding the temper tantrum. Wise
men and women throughout history have tried to tell us in as many ways as they could about these principles.
The magical aspect is that “like attracts like”. A positive attitude not only saves the moment, but goes out to
save future moments too. That is called the law of attraction. When a person decides to choose positive
experiences the universe will began to provide more and more of them for you to experience. These
situations are sometimes called luck. Sometimes they are called blessings from God.
I have purposely avoided addressing religious theologies, as there are so many of them and so many
different views. And whatever your theology is, just relate these principles to that of your creator. These
principles do exist; they were made into the fabric of the whole system just as the planets and forces of nature.
Some famous quotes that reflect these principles;
“Cast your bread upon the waters and in many days it returns”
“Spirit is the Life, Mind is the builder, the physical is the result”
“Live by the sword, die by the sword”
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change”
These are just a few of countless quotes that are simple ways of explaining how our thoughts DO influence
experiences they we actually Create what a person believes and expects about the world are key to how this
person’s life unfolds. Have you noticed that the world is EXACTLY how you believe it is?
Think about that. That is a very powerful statement!
It is both true for you, and your kids.
Set an Example
| Tags; set an example, set the example, setting example |
| The point of this article is to shed light on the fact that your child needs guidance from you as you set the example of how to choose happiness in a confusing world. You too would have benefited with someone showing you as a child how to nourish the relationship between your mind (relentless stream of thoughts) and your inner spirit. It could be that you have spent your whole life never giving one thought to that inner self or yours. As a result, you have not been setting the example to your child that this is of utmost importance. As you learn to do this for yourself as a parent, as a person, you will also be teaching your child to do the same. The first step is to teach your child to simply be still, quite the mind and listen. Listen to the feelings. Listen to what the spirit wants to say. Then mentally talk to the spirit. Again, the spirit is the true inner self where all happiness springs from. Tell this part of self that you want to create an open relationship, and you will now listen to yourself and honor this most important part of you. I do not care how corny this may sound to you. You must understand that this neglected relationship between your ego and your spirit is the basis for all negative emotions such as loneliness, fear and poor self esteem. Begin to do this now, everyday and I promise you from the bottom of my heart, your life, your child's life will begin to blossom. Really, what do you have to loose by at least trying it aye? Set the example! |
Children and Families