Nature of Out of Control Teens
Nature of Teens
This article is about understanding your teens personality. The nature of
your kid. Kids represent the variety of personalities that have ever existed.
Often times the personality of a kid will be in polar opposition to that of a
parent. I know for a fact, I have one, ha ha. By nature I am conservative, I
do not like loud noises or people talking loudly or freaky clothes. Well meet
my oldest daughter the most outgoing person on the planet. She is a
beautifully creative person, and has no sense of personal conservatism in
the least.
I want to talk about the nature of your kid because if you can not accept
the fact that your child is a different person than you are, you will
consciously and subconsciously sabotage your relationship with them. You
will also cause them self esteem issues with your constant nagging of what
you do not like about them. Your duties as a parent to protect them and
guide them into good moral people will be contaminated with your own
personality clashes.
Many times a parent who suffers from this will nag their kids into submission
thinking they are shaping their personality into a better person. Please take
the time to absorb this message, it is really the object of this whole essay.
It is not the right or the duty of the parent to change who their kids are!
What gives a parent the arrogance to think they have the right to change
who their kids are? Well perhaps when the parent gets a child who is a much
different person than they have always imagined? Or perhaps they get a
child whos personality is just opposite and annoying?
What are things a parent would try to control and force out of a child?
Perhaps the kid comes off as lazy. Well we were all taught that being lazy is
bad right? So the kid gets called lazy in daily comments or parental reviews.
Over time the parent gets so fixated on this point that they create the
largest mountain out of a mole hill and create a self fulfilling prophesy. So
what if your kid is lazy? Don't condemn your kid for being who they are.
Inspire them to do better. That's your job parent. With some effort you can
find projects to get them off the couch, finding things that they actually
want to do. Bitching solves nothing, and serves to create more of what you
are bitching about! Inspiration is the message you deliver.
Bad music, horrible clothes, weird friends are all things some of us
conservative parents have had to really deal with. In reality kids have
always tried to stretch out of the social limitations they faced in every
generation. This is normal, this is progress and this is very necessary to
society. If it were not for this normal expansion we wouldn't be watching
leave it to beaver anymore because that would be so normal it wouldn't be
interesting. Would anyone seriously want to live in 1950 again?
Kids have to explore who they are. Every kid was born with a unique
personality that will grow and evolve. In this process sometimes they reach
a little farther than they need too just to see whats there. So let them.
Your example as a parent carries much more weight than you can even
imagine. What you do, and not what you say, is impressed on your kids on a
daily basis. This is your keystone that will guide your kids back to you over
and over again, as long as they have your respect and not your control.
You can not turn a shy dog into an attack dog or vise versa. You can not
change fundamental personality. Accept your kids unique differences from
you and allow them to grow in inspiration and not condemnation.
Society tries to place all kids within a range of what they call normal. This
includes normal grades, normal behavior, normal interests, normal sexual
orientation. As soon as a kids fundamental personality move them out of
this range they are labeled as not being normal and as a result often times
face the same criticism from parents. Sometimes being medicated with
speed based medications so their behavior will be more tolerant.
If a kid is out of this normal range, and you try to squeeze him or her back
in, you are squeezing a square peg into a round hole. You are trying to
change the fundamental personality to fit what other people say are the
boundaries he or she should fit into. This can not be done, not because I say
so, but because it cant work. Don't let society convince you that your child
has to conform to be considered normal. I find that with kids who are not
normal, that they are much more special than normal kids in the most
interesting ways.
The key here is to allow your children to be who they are, while you
manage your own 'set-in-your-ways' mentality of whats the right thing to do.
Inspire your kids, never stamp out their instinctive natures. 99 percent of a
parents condemnation to their child is always about a pre-wired program
running in the parents head about what should be. The bottom line here is,
cant we love our kids enough to raise them up to their highest level with
acceptance, love and guidance and not take out our beliefs on who they
should be.
This article is about understanding your teens personality. The nature of
your kid. Kids represent the variety of personalities that have ever existed.
Often times the personality of a kid will be in polar opposition to that of a
parent. I know for a fact, I have one, ha ha. By nature I am conservative, I
do not like loud noises or people talking loudly or freaky clothes. Well meet
my oldest daughter the most outgoing person on the planet. She is a
beautifully creative person, and has no sense of personal conservatism in
the least.
I want to talk about the nature of your kid because if you can not accept
the fact that your child is a different person than you are, you will
consciously and subconsciously sabotage your relationship with them. You
will also cause them self esteem issues with your constant nagging of what
you do not like about them. Your duties as a parent to protect them and
guide them into good moral people will be contaminated with your own
personality clashes.
Many times a parent who suffers from this will nag their kids into submission
thinking they are shaping their personality into a better person. Please take
the time to absorb this message, it is really the object of this whole essay.
It is not the right or the duty of the parent to change who their kids are!
What gives a parent the arrogance to think they have the right to change
who their kids are? Well perhaps when the parent gets a child who is a much
different person than they have always imagined? Or perhaps they get a
child whos personality is just opposite and annoying?
What are things a parent would try to control and force out of a child?
Perhaps the kid comes off as lazy. Well we were all taught that being lazy is
bad right? So the kid gets called lazy in daily comments or parental reviews.
Over time the parent gets so fixated on this point that they create the
largest mountain out of a mole hill and create a self fulfilling prophesy. So
what if your kid is lazy? Don't condemn your kid for being who they are.
Inspire them to do better. That's your job parent. With some effort you can
find projects to get them off the couch, finding things that they actually
want to do. Bitching solves nothing, and serves to create more of what you
are bitching about! Inspiration is the message you deliver.
Bad music, horrible clothes, weird friends are all things some of us
conservative parents have had to really deal with. In reality kids have
always tried to stretch out of the social limitations they faced in every
generation. This is normal, this is progress and this is very necessary to
society. If it were not for this normal expansion we wouldn't be watching
leave it to beaver anymore because that would be so normal it wouldn't be
interesting. Would anyone seriously want to live in 1950 again?
Kids have to explore who they are. Every kid was born with a unique
personality that will grow and evolve. In this process sometimes they reach
a little farther than they need too just to see whats there. So let them.
Your example as a parent carries much more weight than you can even
imagine. What you do, and not what you say, is impressed on your kids on a
daily basis. This is your keystone that will guide your kids back to you over
and over again, as long as they have your respect and not your control.
You can not turn a shy dog into an attack dog or vise versa. You can not
change fundamental personality. Accept your kids unique differences from
you and allow them to grow in inspiration and not condemnation.
Society tries to place all kids within a range of what they call normal. This
includes normal grades, normal behavior, normal interests, normal sexual
orientation. As soon as a kids fundamental personality move them out of
this range they are labeled as not being normal and as a result often times
face the same criticism from parents. Sometimes being medicated with
speed based medications so their behavior will be more tolerant.
If a kid is out of this normal range, and you try to squeeze him or her back
in, you are squeezing a square peg into a round hole. You are trying to
change the fundamental personality to fit what other people say are the
boundaries he or she should fit into. This can not be done, not because I say
so, but because it cant work. Don't let society convince you that your child
has to conform to be considered normal. I find that with kids who are not
normal, that they are much more special than normal kids in the most
interesting ways.
The key here is to allow your children to be who they are, while you
manage your own 'set-in-your-ways' mentality of whats the right thing to do.
Inspire your kids, never stamp out their instinctive natures. 99 percent of a
parents condemnation to their child is always about a pre-wired program
running in the parents head about what should be. The bottom line here is,
cant we love our kids enough to raise them up to their highest level with
acceptance, love and guidance and not take out our beliefs on who they
should be.
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By Tony Hanes; Author, Inventor, Spiritual Teacher Author; Baboo Says - a Life Manual for Kids Inventor; Trimmer Assist |
Tony Hanes
Children and Families